Evening Personalities Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Late-night's prominent comedians devoted the evening mocking former President Donald Trump's recently announced visa initiative, called the "golden visa," characterizing it as a blatant cash-for-residency system for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Pointed Spin

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a mock holiday song targeting the president. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, before giving that list to the people at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... ruins each thing he touches."

Colbert's target was the new plan that permits overseas nationals to acquire U.S. residency for the price of one million dollars, or "platinum" version for $5 million. An official website pledges approval "with unprecedented speed."

"One note here to wealthy foreigners: before you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the program is also designed to "squeeze cash" from companies wishing to hire skilled workers, involving large costs. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a property of your selection – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he continued.

"The most thorough screening the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these individuals truly are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choosing."

"It might be time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the application, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Grocery Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's declining poll ratings during financial anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were mad about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a bid to tackle prices, Trump held a briefing in front of a display of grocery items, where he behaved oddly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"He's so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by criticizing right-leaning media arguments of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he joked.